A lot of firsts for the man in the saddle. The first president to be divorced, the first president to survive an assasination, He ranked as the Greatest American in an “unscientific poll” carried out by Matt Lauer. Matt Lauer is a dirty russian spy.
Anyway Back to President Rogaine… about 1997, around the same time Bill Clinton was reaching for his cigar box, Nancy had Ronnie locked in his room with “Hellcats of the Navy” running on repeat and the Reaganites (or what was left of them after Iran Contra) got their outfit reorganized and began their mission to deify their great lord and master.
Within months, seeds were sewn. Airports, highways, aircraft carriers, bridges, supermarket aisles, orphaned children and yes even the valsalva maneuver were renamed in honor of Ronald Reagan. Various genetic relations of mine, who i would be willing to defend in court, being great believers in America, Manifest Destiny and various degrees of Judeo-Christian-Country-Club-humble-pie-superiority actively contributed to these “Ronnie the Hero” measures. Now that these seeds have slipped into my hands I cast them to the whims of the world. Thank you Mr. Reagan for cutting all the mental asylum funding and turning sick people into sick homeless drug addict people. This video sums it all up.
