cult and paste

be careful where you clique

Waiting to exhale


I went to go check on the cactuses today. You can say that…. (cactuses or cacti are equally acceptable in mixed company).  The photo is from the Botanicka Zahrada in Albertov- very near the Blue Lady. The plants, snug and warm, have made it through another winter.

Cacti are interesting expressions of life. Somehow, with time, they’ve come to be prickly and succulent- all the cacti that didn’t, died without passing on their genes. These plants have specialized ways of taking in light, turning it into energy and holding their breath all day… they only open up their stomata and transpire CO2 at night. This helps them reduce water loss and keep that cactus sheen.

Linnaeus, the sex-crazed-master-genius-swedish-pimp-taxonomist who i’ve mentioned previously, classified many of the cacti according to their sexiness and resemblance to nipples. It should be noted, however, that cacti are indigenous to the New World Order.

Africa, Asia and Europe did not rear their own cacti till the return voyage of Chris Rock Colomboss brought a boat full of party favors and souvenirs (a cactus plant was packed in the luggage compartment). There is one exception to this American dominance of the cactus world- the  Rhipsalis baccifera or mistletoe cactus which is a part of tropical flora across the world. Botantists believe that the spread of this one species maybedirectly related to migratory birds and their migratory doodoo.

The rest of the cacti in the Americas stem from a common relation which spread roots into specialized families, subfamilies, genuses…. blah blah. All this took place sometime after Pangea split apart- the tectonic plates separated the continents and sank Atlantis. This is also a time of interest to Scientologists (Scientologists like my boy Beck, and Greta van Susteren, that minx). Cacti and Scientology are similar, except for the DC-8 bombers in the volcano part, oh yeah and the galactic confederacy part… I don’t think Scientologists can hold their breath all day…. at least not the operating thetans. Actually they’re not very cactus-like come to think of it.

Plants resembling cactus in other parts of the world are examples of independent and parallel evolution as their genetic lineage shows no recent common linker. Enough about cacti.


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This entry was posted on March 18, 2009 by in Nature, Science and tagged , , , , .
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