cult and paste

be careful where you clique

War Pigs, Homemade Swine Flu and the Second Coming

superpig pig superhero


Non-edible pig application #432-Digging up undetonated WWII bombs that lie in wait near golf courses. Despite their lack of sweat glands, pigs in the Angleland are finding their special purpose by unearthing explosives of the English past.


In other news, the Russians have put together a minute-and-a-half long expose (complete with a masked man in a sombrero), insinuating that the recent H1N1 is not some naturally mutated influenza virus, but a secret homebrew cooked up in a well ventillated underground lair.

While i do not discount the possibility that this epidemic threat may be a concoction by some (Bilderberg, illuminati, monsanto, richard simmons) to sell more tamiflu and Purell… it must also be stated in unequivocal terms that the influenza virus has all the character potential to manifest like this.

Influenza is an orthomyxovirus, it’s enveloped and it’s got RNA inside… RNA contains one open strand of sequenced genes (compare to DNA which stabilizes it’s sequence with a protective complimentary strand).

Thus the genes of any RNA virus vulnerable, unstable and likely to mutate… often. The envelope ensures that the virus doesn’t dry out too fast and fall apart. Some viruses have no envelope… like polio or rhinovirus so they have to be dissolved in fluid at all times (i.e. you won’t get polio sitting on a park bench). Influenza has an envelope, so it can hold it’s own on a table top for about 72 hours. In the cold it could last days to weeks.

The envelope also determines what the virus can stick to and invade. The H part of H1N1 is for Hemagluttinin that’s “the catch” part that initially gets it into the cell and the N is neuraminidase which is the “release” part which gets it through. There are 16 different versions of H and 9 of N. The mixing and matching determines whether it’s gonna hit birds, birds and people, pigs and people or little baby seals.

Since there’s so much room for mutation (quality control is worse than a Mattel factory) parts often get shipped into the wrong containers. This means a lot of defective virus never makes it off the factory line; but it also means that possibly new virus lines also get produced.

SO If an animal or human is coinfected with two different influenza viruses at the same time

AND if these viruses are simultaneously running in one cell of that animal…

AND if there’s an error or mixing of genes-

AND if that newly made virus is willing and able to move forward with infecting and propagating

YES you could end up with a new strain

Now that you’ve been compromised what’s going to happen?

All the previously invaded cells that have been commandeered by the virus have now run out of supplies. They’re done for. The walls of the cell break down and out pops new viruses… as those cells died they gave off distress signals to their neighbors that turn your airways into a police state…. you have cough, muscle pain; elevated levels of T cells and macrophages turn up the fever. All the cell death and destruction make a wonderful setting for bacterial infection.

If you don’t have antibodies to this new strain or cannot develop them quick enough… you could be in trouble. Most deaths resulting from influenza arise from Pneumonia and/or secondary bacterial infection. The sweeping potency of the original Spanish Flu was believed to have been due to the strain’s ability to incite the immune system to go completely nuts- a cytokine storm- the alarm systems that are usually in place to protect you, instead all go off at once and overload- blood coagulates at the wrong time, vasodilation happens in the wrong places and fluid fills up spaces it shouldn’t- like your lungs, cells are programmed to die en masse… all integration of the organism discombobulates and the GAME OVER sign begins to flash.

All that said, in 2005 Dr. Jeffrey Taubenberger successfully recreated the H1N1 strain in his laboratory by extracting the virus from autopsied victims of the original 1918 Spanish Influenza (note to self: that also implies that infected bodies/parts are lying around in cold storage somewhere- yet another lair). That’s no piece of cake. The virus had to be located intact, painstakingly pieced apart and Ok ok to get to the crux of the matter, yes, Dr Taubenberger works for the Armed Forces Institute of Pathology, Rockville, Maryland.

Sure the government needs to be looking out for danger and funding research to make sure pandemics don’t arise. But with the pandora’s box of the information age- all that is YOUR discovery today becomes public domain of the internet by tonight.  When does research become too risky and who gets to decide? The egomaniac politicians or the egomaniac researchers…. lego my ego.

HMMMM… idea for movie. What’s the virus been doing since 2005 when it was resurrected? If that virus information fell into the hands of some eager-beaver-drug-dealer-businessmen who wanted to move a lot of product… well that would make a hell of a story.

*There’s a theory that RNA is the a predecessor to DNA… that once upon a time there was an RNA world that existed before DNA came along… once upon a time.


3 comments on “War Pigs, Homemade Swine Flu and the Second Coming

  1. Tay
    May 18, 2009

    I think the Swine Flu was created by these two. This still is from “The Shining…”


  2. Tay
    May 18, 2009

    Sigh, it won’t let me embed in the picture in my comments. Ok, here’s the URL:


  3. cultandpaste
    May 18, 2009

    never seen a bear with a cleft palate

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