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Competitive Eating

By scarfing down 68 hot dogs (and their buns) within 10 minutes, Joey Chestnut, 25 of San Jose, California has secured American dominance for yet another year in the sport of hot-dog binging. Takeru “Tsunami” Kobayashi, Chestnut’s Japanese arch nemesis could only stuff in 64 and a half. This is just another title for Joey, who seems to travel the country gorging himself. He is currently holds championship titles at a number of restaurant establishments including Waffle House, Krystal Burgers, and Pizza Hut. He can also drink a gallon of water in under one minute.

Here are some terms you may want to be familiar with should you start a conversation with someone about speed eating….

  • Chipmunking- stuffing as much food in right before the final bell.
  • Dunking- dowsing the edibles in water
  • Debris- the crumbs you leave behind in the aftermath
  • Reversal- industry term for vomiting

If you’re thinking about joining a local team, you may want to start by enlarging your stomach. Top professionals imbibe plenty of fluids and eat tons of bulky cabbage. There are still no definitive statistics on life expectancy changes.


One comment on “Competitive Eating

  1. Danger
    July 6, 2009

    I once got 2nd place in a pie eating contest in college. The shitty thing was, I ate more pie than the other team (it was a partners match, and I even ate my partner’s pies because she sucked). However, the match was fixed, and the judges called it for the other team, despite the fact I had more empty pie tins in front of me. The pie wasn’t even that good, and I haven’t done it since.

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